Black and White Thinking

I love the look of black furniture. So sleek and goes with everything! Needless to say I have a lot of black furniture. There's just one problem with black. Dust. In the southwest we accumulate a lot of dust and black furniture shows up every speck!

Dusting happens to be one of my least favorite chores because of this. So I decided that my black end tables in the front room had to go. Only one problem. They are relatively new and in perfect condition and I couldn't convince my hubby to let me get new ones. So...

I painted them white! I left the doors a blackish brown but then they looked too modern and didn't really fit in with the rest of my decor. A stencil was the answer. I learned that painting black furniture white takes like a million coats of paint and stenciling is hard. I had to repaint the door once because the stencil was crooked. :( This was not one of my favorite projects BUT I love how they turned out!

So. Much. Better!

I love my "new" end tables.

Cookie of the Month

I love being a stay-at-home mom/ homemaker. I love the managerial skills it requires of me and of course the organization. I also love how it pushes me to improve myself. Sometimes, however, it can be a tad bit monotonous and that's where my "projects" come in. I like to make crafts and bake in the time I carve out for myself. 

Last year I challenged myself to make a different kind of cake bread each month.

 

Okay, so I cheated a little and made fudge in November. It still counts, right?

This past year I decided to do cookies! Oh and FYI none of the recipes are my own. I'm great at following other people's creations though. ;)

I tried to make different genres of cookies and cookies I'd never made before. January was snowball cookies which were a big pain to make due to their crumbliness but my daughter Aftyn declared they were her favorite. I guess that makes them worth it! In February I tried red velvet cookies. These became my favorite! SO yummy!

I had a hard time thinking of a St. Patrick's cookie that I thought my kids would all like so I kept it simple and made inside out chocolate chip cookies with mint M&M's. My daughter Breah was particularl fond of them because she loves chocolate/mint combinations. Me too! In April for Easter I made thumbprint cookies that had chocolate fudge centers and a mini Cadbury egg in the center. Pretty good!

May and June cookies both turned out great! May's cookies were a sugar cookie and I chose lemon sugar cookies. They were really, really good! In June I did an oatmeal cookie and added white chocolate, butterscotch, and milk chocolate chips. You can never go wrong with oatmeal cookies!

July was a busy month for us with vacations and such so I kept it simple and made my great-grandma Ambrose's old-fashioned butter cookies. They are a favorite in our house! In August I made cake mix cookies with funfetti cake mix and vanilla frosting. The kids loved them!

September's cookies were chocolate crinkle cookies. The process was interesting for them. They were basically made with refrigerated brownie batter, which was messy. They tasted good though! The kids requested I bring back pumpkin snickerdoodles from Six Sister's Stuff for October. I didn't mind because they are delicious. ;)

In November I chose a candy cookie and made homemade Twix cookies. They were really good but took forever. In the end they yielded 2 dozen cookies which didn't seem like enough for the amount of effort they required. And because December is already crazy I found a simple recipe for vanilla pudding cookies. They weren't my favorite but they were very festive looking and worked very well for Santa's cookies. :)

I'm so proud of myself for sticking with my goal! I got to try so many different cookies that I'd never made before and discovered some new favorites in the process. Goal setting and improving one's self is never a bad thing. Now it's time for the next goal. 

I'm thinking brownies. :)

Organization Mini-Series: Organize Your Time

For the next few posts I will be doing a mini-series in preparation for the organization class I will be teaching next week. I wanted to be able to include the following things in more detail in my class: Organize Yourselves, Organize Your Kids, and Organize Your Time. However, because of time constraints in the class I can't fit them all in. Instead I will be posting them on here. :)

Organize Your Time

I love this cartoon! Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get anything done!

I. Introduction
A long time ago when I was in high school my older sister was in charge of taking us to school. It seemed that if we weren't running out of gas (curse of an old truck with a broken speedometer!) then we were running late. We were never actually late but the way I remember it we ran everyday to make it over to D building for our first classes of the day. Now due to my crooked foot I can't run very well. My sister  knew this and so she would say, "Just hold onto my backpack!" And so I did. I'd grip her backpack and away we'd go while she'd pull me hobbling along behind. We must've looked so funny but it worked. :)

Fast forward to a couple of years later when my sister was in college and it was my turn to drive my little brother to school. We were never even close to being late. Even back then I was good at managing my time. Plus, I trained my little brother on how to start up that old truck so it would be good and warmed up and not stall on the way to school. ;)

Time management is more than just being on time though! It's about making time to not only get the things you need to get done during the day/ week/ month but also making time for your interests as well. And it's about remembering that you are only one person and don't have to do everything all at once.

II. Invest in a Clock (or two or three or four)

I have a clock in every room. I'm serious! Being on time is important to me and so I make sure I always know what time it is. Every bathroom, the laundry room, the kids' rooms, they all have a clock. Some rooms even have two. Ha! I can't stand it if I don't know what time it is. I consider promptness a sign of respect and good manners. When you make the effort to be on time for an appointment you are telling the person you are meeting they are important to you. Plus you are teaching your children that others matter more than themselves. A child that is constantly late to school disrupts class every time they walk in the door. That's not really fair to the other kids or the teacher. As a mom it's my responsibility to make sure my kids get to school on time. Hence the clocks. ;)

III. Balance
There are only so many hours in the day and if your To Do list is anything like mine it's never-ending! Oh what I could get done if only the hours were infinite! But they're not and so I have to carefully choose how to spend my day. If all I did all day was clean the house (which I could easily do having five kids and all) I would feel so burned out! But if I only pursued my own interests every day then the housework would become insurmountable! There has to be balance!

 I do one major chore each day, I delegate the daily clutter control to my children, and my husband also helps with chores by keeping the dishes washed. That takes care of the household stuff. I also make sure I schedule time daily to play with my kids. Actually, we all know kids get most of our time but they do need quality attention too. Everyday after lunch, before nap time, I go down to the basement with my two littlest ones and we play. The older three go to bed later so they get their quality time then. I also make sure to take some time to do what I want, like watching a TV show while the youngest naps and the others are playing together in the basement. That "me" time is how I recharge and so I use it everyday. I also try really hard to exercise with my husband every evening. That takes care of our couple time and my health. See where I'm going?

When I'm taking care of my responsibilities as a mother, a wife, a homemaker, etc. I find I'm so much happier and everyone's needs are being met, including mine! It can't be all about them but it can't be all about me. A balanced life is a happy life!

IV. Time and a Season
Even though balance is important there's something that's even more important and that's remembering that you are only one person! We all want to be "Super Wife" and "Super Mom" and "Super Friend" but that is unobtainable, really. We have to remember that perfection is not real when it comes to life. If you try to reach beyond your capabilities too much you will burn out quickly. Then what good will you be to anyone?

I know so many moms who are trying to be everything to everyone all the time. It's exhausting to watch. They are trying to complete their educations, work, be moms, etc. all at once. There are so many things I want to learn and do but I know that I have limits and so I put some of my goals on the back burner and wait until the timing is right.

Finishing school will be there later when my kids are older as well as those other personal goals. For now, my season is to be home with my kids and I'm okay with that. I can have it all. I just don't need it all right now!

V. Simplify
The most important advice I can give to anyone who is struggling with time-management is to simplify! Just because someone asks you to help with a party, for example, doesn't mean you have to. Even if they are a friend. If you've already got a dozen of other things on your plate then politely decline. If they are truly a friend they'll understand. That goes for kid commitments as well. If your child wants to be in the school play but they're already doing two sports they don't have to do it. There are so many parents out there that think they have to let their kids try everything that interests them. Kids need time to be kids more than anything. They need time to use their imaginations and play. And so do moms! Learn to say no and you'll be surprised at how much time you have! ;)

If you find you are staying up late every night to finish your daily tasks then I'd say you need to find places elsewhere to simplify. Getting enough sleep should always be included in the balance of your day. If you aren't sleeping enough your health suffers. You are hungry more often, irritable, unable to focus as well,  and the list goes on and on. I never let my commitments get in the way of my sleep. Sleep is sacred!

VI. Conclusion
I have a busy life just like the rest of you. It's tough trying to get everything done and I do get overwhelmed. But I also know how to manage my time and always make sure that I keep my life as balanced as possible. Plus, I know my stress-limits and am not afraid to say no if I need to. Time is usually my friend and it can be yours too!

Organization Mini-Series: Organize Yourself

For the next few posts I will be doing a mini-series in preparation for the organization class I will be teaching next week. I wanted to be able to include the following things in more detail in my class: Organize Yourselves, Organize Your Kids, and Organize Your Time. However, because of time constraints I can't fit them all in. Instead I will be posting them on here. :)

I may feel like this on the inside some days but you won't ever see me look like this on the outside! Ha ha!

Organize Yourself

I. Introduction 
There are so many ways to be organized other than just having an organized home! Life organization is equally important to having a less stressful life. When you take the time to love yourself, you will be a nicer mommy, more loving wife, and altogether happier.

II. Put Yourself First 
When I became a new mom at the ripe old age of 22, I realized that there seemed to be a trend going on with a lot of my mom friends. Somehow, it became an unspoken rule that when one entered motherhood, one had to "let themselves go." I noticed many moms declaring to the world, "I'm a mother! I'm busy! I don't have time to fix my hair! I don't have time to get dressed! Make-up? How dare you even suggest such a thing! I am devoting all my time and energy into motherhood now and putting myself very last on my to-do list. That is why I go grocery shopping in my pajama pants!"

I knew I didn't want that to happen to me! That is why I decided right then and there that I would not fall victim to that trend and would remain true to myself. I decided that no matter what, I would get myself dressed, fix my hair and put on makeup each and everyday. And I would do it before I cleaned the house, ran errands, etc. I decided to be bold and instead of putting myself last on my never-ending list of things that needed to get done I would (gasp) put myself first! At least in this small way. :)

I have five children so believe me when I say I know how time consuming it is to be a full-time mother and a full-time homemaker. But think of it this way: If you had a job outside the home would you roll out of bed, stick your hair in a messy bun, and go to a meeting with your boss in pajamas? Of course not! The idea is laughable! Your boss would expect you to arrive at work neat, clean, organized, and ready for your day. And if you weren't you probably wouldn't have that job for too long. ;)

Well, when you are a stay-at-home mom you are your own boss and you can hold yourself to that same standard! I find that because I take the time to pretty myself up each morning that I am happier. It gives me a mental boost each morning to know that I did something for me. :) Especially when it seems like the rest of my day is devoted to serving my family and others. I also like that I am sending the message to the world that I like myself. I care about myself and I love what I do. I love being a homemaker and a mother and by looking nice everyday, I am declaring that I have a happy life. I don't think I would be sending the same message if I looked like crap all the time. ;)

And it's easier than you think. Grab a shower while the baby naps. Turn on a show for your toddlers while you fix your hair or set them up with some toys in your bedroom while you put your makeup on. It will do your children a world of good to see that their mommy is taking the time to care for herself.

III. Mommy Projects
Another important part of self-organization is what I like to call "Mommy Projects". Homemaking and motherhood can oft times be like the movie Groundhog Day in that the monotony and same thing day in and day out can be tedious to say the least. That is why I like to do "Mommy Projects" every now and then. When I feel myself getting overwhelmed I try and take a little while to do something I like. After all, I am not just Ainsley, Aftyn, Gavin, Breah, and Brody's mom. I am also Cara. I have likes and interests outside of homemaking and motherhood, believe it or not. ;)

I have a craft room downstairs in our basement that is my sanctuary. I can keep it messy and it is my own space. I can go in there and get creative while my kids play in the family room. I am still accessible to them and tuned in, yet I'm not doing just mommy things. Instead I am pursuing my own things. It helps me feel refreshed and ready to go back to the drudgery. ;)

IV. Health and Spirit
Probably the most important part of keeping your life organized is keeping your health at the top of your list. After all, if you don't have your health then what do you have? You owe it to yourself and your family to care for the body that God gave you. You need to keep your mind sharp. Make health a priority. Drink lots of water. Eat healthy foods. Exercise. Read good books. Be an example to those you love.

There are really no excuses when it comes to taking care of oneself. If I can be healthy with a crippled foot, then anyone can. Start small but just start. Take your husband and kids along too. They will thank you for it. :)

Don't forget to feed your spirit too. Read scriptures. Pray. Meditate. Whatever it is that you do to feel more connected to whatever it is you believe, do it. A happy spirit is a healthy spirit. :)

V. Conclusion
This concludes this segment in my mini-series. I hope you have taken my advice to heart. I truly feel when you love yourself better it makes it easier to love others better too. If you make yourself a priority every day I promise you will find the time to care for yourself and be ready to conquer the world!

Stay tuned for the next edition in this mini-series: Organizing Your Kids!

Why I Chose Homemaking and to be a Stay-at-Home Mom

 Homemaking is a real profession. It is one that I take very seriously! If it could be put into a job description I imagine it would be something like this:

1. 1. You will accomplish something worthwhile that can affect the happiness of those around you.
2. 2. You will help choose the working conditions and establish a pleasant atmosphere for others.
3. 3. You will help control expenditures.
4. 4. You will decide what work will be done, when it will be done, and how it will be done.
5. 5. You will enjoy being around everyone in the entire organization and will have the opportunity to bless their lives and help them accomplish great things.

When put that way it sounds like the perfect job, right? To me it is just that. I love what I do. :)

I realize that everyone's journey is their own. What works for some may not work for others. This article is based upon my own experiences and opinions. It is not meant to tell anyone else how to live their lives, rather it is to show how I find joy in homemaking and why I feel it is so important.

I remember having a conversation a few years back with a friend whose last child had just started kindergarten. She told me, "Now that all my kids are in school I have nothing to do. The house is clean and I'm just so bored. I'm going to have to go get a job!"

The conversation has stuck with me all these years. I found it interesting that this friend thought that her homemaking career was over simply because her children were not home for part of the day. Homemaking is more than just being home when the kids are little. It is so much more!

Society has been trying to teach us for the last 50 years or so that women are not contributing to society unless they work outside the home. Women have been told that we have to "have it all". Not only do we need to be the perfect mother but the breadwinner and always have dinner on the table at five while maintaining a germ-free home where nothing is ever out of place. I conducted a sociological poll on facebook and one mom told me that she works, "...because I'm not just a mother. As a woman I have equal rights and desires to fulfill my goals and my career. It's a good example for our kids and especially our daughters." While this friend is entitled to her own opinions and believes she is teaching her children to be more well-rounded, I believe that I too am teaching my children by staying home.

As I said before, I am not you. You are not me. If you have to work outside the home, or if you want to work outside the home, so be it. Only you can decide what's best for you. I'm just here to defend what I feel is a dying profession. This makes me sad because homemaking is the single most important profession there is!

President Ezra Taft Benson (a former prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) once said, "One great thing the Lord requires of each of us is to provide a home where a happy positive influence for good exists." It is my responsibility to make sure our home is a happy home. I feel I can do this best if I make homemaking my primary profession.

I believe that all women are homemakers whether they work or not, are married or not, or have children or not. It is part of our divine nature as women to nurture those around us. How well we fill this role depends entirely on our commitment to it and how well we juggle the other responsibilities we place on ourselves.

I grew up in a household with a mom who worked outside the home. I never understood why she wanted to work. She would always tell us she worked so we could have the little extra things we were used to getting. I would've traded all those little things though for a more relaxed, peaceful home life. It wasn't until I grew up that my mom revealed to me that she just didn't enjoy being home. She needed the social interaction that came with working. Mom loved her various jobs. She loved learning new skills and serving those in our community. My mom was a great mom. She always managed to make it to all our various school functions despite working. She helped me with my school work and I always knew I was loved. She fulfilled her church responsibilities to the best of her ability and was a friend to all. She tried her hardest to be everything to everyone!

Us kids were left at home to fend for ourselves from the time we were in elementary school all the way until we left the nest. Although it taught us to be independent and responsible it was often chaotic and unhappy for us too. We fought a lot and there was no one to play the role of peacemaker. The house was messy and very cluttered, simply because my mom didn't have time to maintain it (and because 70's houses have zero storage and tiny rooms). ;) I didn't like coming home to an empty house. It was lonely. I couldn't just call my mom and tell her about my day. I'd have to wait until she came home. 

My mom only worked part time but on the days she did work she'd often come home exhausted and a little cranky.  On the days she didn't work she was constantly trying to play catch up; Feverishly cleaning the house and trying to fulfill all the other roles she had to play. Although my mom liked working I think sometimes she lacked balance in her life. It stressed her out sometimes which in turn stressed out the home. 

My favorite memory of my mom was one crisp fall afternoon when I was about 10 years old. I came home from school to the front door wide open, the screen door filtering in the pleasant autumn breeze. Inside, the house smelled of apples and cinnamon. I can still see my mom standing there in the kitchen as I turned the corner, spooning applesauce into jars. She was wearing her favorite red plaid shirt and a warm smile. The house was clean and felt cozy and happy. I just stood there soaking it all in. How I wanted my mom to be home everyday when I came home!

That moment right there is what I knew I wanted when I became a mom. I wanted more than anything to be that "happy homemaker". The kind that was always home when her kids walked through the door. The kind that kept the house clean and orderly and always had cookies in the cookie jar. The kind that was content just being a mom and taking care of a home.

My mom was and is a great mom and honestly I don't feel like we are victims because of her working. It was all we knew. She doesn't regret her decision to work outside the home. She's told me as much. She did the best she knew how to do. She is always the first one I call when I have news, good or bad. She is not only my mom but my friend too. I don't know what I'd do without her. I don't fault her for not wanting to be home. She was doing what she felt she needed to do to have fulfillment in her life.

For me, however, I love being a homemaker. I don't want or need anything more in my life. I find being a stay-at-home mom completely satisfying. It's challenging and I thrive on running a household. Honestly, there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I need to get done in my chosen profession. Thankfully, the only deadlines I have are the ones I set for myself and I'm a pretty flexible boss. ;)

In the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord tells the Latter-Day Saints how he wants his temple to be. This same doctrine can be applied to our homes: He says, "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning; a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." D&C 88:119

This is scripture is my mantra. Sure I could go get a job. Sure I could finish my education. But I know I wouldn't be able to have the home I work so hard to have if I did those things. I don't do well under high amounts of stress and having to juggle those extra things would sure be stressful. I want to eventually continue my education but it won't be to get a job once my kids are out of the house. It will be to accomplish a goal, to fall back on if I need it, and to learn more about something I've always wanted to. I don't ever intend to work if I don't have to. I want to always make my home be my job. I want to be able to drop everything and help my kids with their own families. I don't ever want them to feel like they've taken a back seat to a career or other pursuits. 

"There's a time and a season for all things" so the saying goes and right now my time is to be home with my babies, creating the happiest home for them possible. Even when they are all in school I will still be home. I won't stop being a mom just because my kids are gone. The house won't go to school. I know I will have plenty to do. :)

I am not perfect at my chosen profession. I'm a blogger who writes about homemaking but that doesn't make me perfect. No one is perfect! My house is never perfectly clean. I have frustrations and things I want to improve on. The point is I am happy. I am happy doing what I do. Said the prophet Spencer W. Kimball, "Heaven is a place, but also a condition; it is home and family... It is quiet sane living; personal sacrifice, genuine hospitality, wholesome concern for others. It is living the commandments of God."

A home is more than mortar, brick, mud, wood, or thatch. It is a place where something of heaven is built into its foundation.

And that is why I chose homemaking and to be a stay-at-home mom. I want to be able to devote all my energy, all my soul into making my home-- our home-- a little piece of heaven. It's a work in progress for sure but it is one to which I am wholly committed to.

I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

Low Impact and Fun Exercise Ideas for the Physically Impaired/ Uncoordinated/ Nonathletic AKA Me

If you're like me you probably ate way too many cookies and fudge over the holiday season and were too busy eating the above mentioned things to get in any exercise. And if you're also like me you're thinking, "Okay, enough is enough. It was fun to splurge for a little while but I know I can't eat nothing but junk. Why? Because then I feel like nothing but junk."

I'm sure most people look at me and roll their eyes when I talk about exercise. I know I'm already skinny. I know I don't need to lose any weight. But guess what? You're not supposed to exercise just to lose weight! Skinny people can do damage to their hearts too. Just ask my grandpa who had a quadruple bypass surgery nearly 20 years ago and he wasn't fat at all. Or my grandma who had congestive heart failure and she wasn't fat either. When I think of all the benefits that exercise has ie it's good for your heart, it reduces stress, it keeps you looking young, it reduces your risk for cancer and other diseases such as osteoporosis, AND it helps you look and feel good it's a "no brainer" to me! And keep in mind that if you are overweight then your risk for heart problems/cancer/dying at early age are greatly magnified so that should be even more motivation to take care of yourself.

In reference to the title of this blog post, yes, I am physically impaired, uncoordinated and very nonathletic. I have a seriously crippled foot and nerve damage which gives me very limited mobility in my left foot and toes. Because of that I am uneasy going to a gym or an aerobics class. It would be too awkward for me and I worry I would injure myself. But even with a physical impairment I have still found ways that I can exercise that are low-impact and fun.

I'm not professionally trained nor am I an expert but if you're in the market for some new ideas here's some of the things I do:

I. Video Games-- I have always loved playing video games and since my husband happens to be a collector of games we have many at our house. Though I don't have time to play too many of them I can always make time for a video game that is not only fun but gets me moving too. Here are the ones I've tried and really like:

              

• Wii Fit and Wii Fit Plus-- Using the Wii balance board these games guide you through a variety of fun and challenging activities.  My favorites are step  aerobics (which I happen to have a perfect score on for perfect rhythm,) for Wii  Fit and Boxing for Wii Fit Plus. On the Plus game you can also create your own  workout routines. Just make sure you jog in place while loading the next activity  to keep your heart rate up. These games are perfect if you are just beginning to exercise and need something very low impact.

• EA Active Games-- The one I have is EA Active 2. I must say I LOVE this game! Not only does it have many fun games (some of my faves are mountain boarding and basketball) but it is super high tech. It can monitor the amount of calories you've  burned plus your heart rate. It also has the ability to create custom work outs based on what you're trying to accomplish. For example if you're wanting to do only cardio workouts or strength training you can choose from a vast amount of exercises to do just that. Personally, I like to have a little of everything (some  strength, some cardio and some core) and even though I'm limited in the kinds of exercises I can do, thanks to the customizing, it's doable. :)

II. Zumba-- It's all the rage right now! If you like to dance and feel like a "hot mama" then you'll most definitely like Zumba. There's classes all around, they even teach one for free at my church but there's no way I'm going to subject myself to that kind of humiliation! I've got decent rhythm but because one foot doesn't work properly, it doesn't always look that way. If I do zumba on a DVD, YouTube, or a video game though the only people who are there to laugh at me are my kids. :)

III. Dancing-- Speaking of dancing, what a great and fun way to burn some calories! I like to turn on silly songs for my kids and I to dance to. They love it although there are too many of us to fit comfortably into the living room these days.  ;) If you are looking for some great kid tunes we like The Laurie Berkner Band and my kids also love Ace of Base. I was a teenager in the 90's what more can I say? Also, Just Dance is a great video game option for dancing. We have Just Dance Kids and even though it's got kid music there's enough for me that I like to do it too.

IV. Exercise Videos-- Back in the day I had a Kathy Smith aerobics DVD. I loved the routine but COULD NOT STAND Kathy herself. Too happy, too annoying, and I found myself cursing her perkiness every time I watched it. After my third baby, I discovered the Biggest Loser workouts and got hooked. Since all the people are novice exercisers it's super low impact whic is safe for me to do, yet it gets results quickly, perfect for trying to lose that baby weight! And Bob Harper hasn't annoyed me yet in the seven years I've been doing his workouts.

V. Pilates and Yoga-- I do yoga through all my pregnancies and it always helps so much! It's perfect for aches and pains.  Pilates is great too, especially because it focuses on core muscles. Both are wonderful for de-stressing due to all the deep breathing and for toning flabby muscles.

VI. Walking!-- Walking has always been and will forever be my favorite way to get exercise. I used to have a treadmill and while it was fine, I prefer being able to be outdoors. People have asked me what my secret is to losing my baby weight so quickly. The secret is walking. Strapping my babies into the stroller and walking uphill as much as possible. If you don't like walking by yourself, then take your dog, take your kids, take your husband or take some friends. The great thing about walking is you can still have conversation while doing it. Plus, the fresh air is invigorating and you can set your own pace. Plus, it's free. ;)

Okay, now if you're sitting there and are getting angry because this skinny girl is trying to guilt you into taking care of yourself, I'm sorry. It's just always never made sense to me to not take care of the body God gave you. You only get one life to live, you only get one body. Take care of it. Fat or not. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself so you can be the best possible you!

If I can find time to do it with five kids and a crooked foot then you can too. :)

Pilates Pro

Okay, okay, so I’m not a pro by any stretch of the imagination but I do enjoy practicing Pilates from time to time. If you’re not sure what Pilates is here is the Wikipedia definition:

Pilates, pronounced /pɪˈlɑ:ti:z/, is a physical fitness system developed in the early 20th century by Joseph Pilates in Germany. As of 2005 there are 11 million people who practice the discipline regularly and 14,000 instructors in the United States.
Pilates called his method Contrology (from control and Greek -λογία, -logia), because he believed his method uses the mind to control the muscles. The program focuses on the core postural muscles which help keep the body balanced and which are essential to providing support for the spine. In particular, Pilates exercises teach awareness of breath and alignment of the spine, and aim to strengthen the deep torso muscles.

In a nutshell, Pilates is great to tighten those post-baby tummy muscles! And because of all the deep breathing you do during the exercises, it is very relaxing as well. The video that I really love is called Pick Your Spot Pilates. It lets you pick and choose ten minute workouts for abs, butt, and thighs. They're simple exercises designed for even the most unflexible (like me). Who doesn’t have time for ten minutes of serious ab crunching?!?

If you haven’t tried Pilates yet, you should! You’re gonna love it!

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Be True, Stay True

A person with a physical impairment wants nothing more than to appear as normal as possible. They want to live their lives, blending in, yet experiencing all that they want to in life without being told they can't or that they'll fail if they try. At least that's the way I feel. I have a physical handicap and I'm okay with that. It's difficult for me to walk around sometimes (especially while holding a baby) but I do it, because I refuse to be held back.

Rewind time back to when I was an awkward freshman in high school. I wanted nothing more than to fit in, blend in, and be all I wanted. Having played the flute since 6th grade I of course brought it along with me to high school. I loved my flute and didn't want to give it up. In fact, that year I quit piano lessons so I'd have more time to devote to practicing my flute.

At our school, in order to be in band you must take marching band as well as concert band. That proved to be a problem for me because learning how to march required lots of practice standing, walking across the field over and over, etc. Nevertheless, I was determined to try because I loved playing my flute so much.

Band camp the summer before my freshman year proved to be fun in some ways. I learned how to march and did very well. I was the last underclassmen to be eliminated in a marching competition and I felt proud that my handicap wasn't holding me back too much. Even though I couldn't participate in all the activities I was glad to be there and be included, even if I had to mop the entire cafeteria during some relay games I couldn't play, due to my limitations. Why did I have to mop the cafeteria? Because my band teacher was a Band Nazi, no fooling. Anyone who couldn't conform to her standards got punished. I couldn't conform. I got punished.

Freshmen don't march other than in the halftime show for Homecoming and in the Christmas parade. I have a handicap but I went right out there on the field with everyone else to learn the PHS show because I wanted to show that I could march.I remember standing out there on the football field, doing the drills with the other kids. That year our band teacher had an assistant, a snivelly little brown-noser who caught onto the conformity spirit all too much.

Before I go on, I should explain that there are two different forms of marching in a band. The first is the traditional kind, lifting your knees up high in stilted movements. The second form is a more graceful and deliberate stepping of the heel and rolling onto the balls of the feet. Much to my misfortune, our band practiced the second form. Since I can't step heel to toe with my left foot this proved to be a problem. Now where was I?

Oh yeah, I can't remember the assistant's name so we'll just call him Mr. Snivelly. As I was doing the drills, I noticed Mr. Snivelly watching me a lot. I remember thinking, "Just blend in. Just blend in." Positive thinking failed me that day, however, as Mr. Snivelly strode over to me and said, "It looks like you're having a bit of trouble marching. You seem to be having some trouble with your posture."

"I can't march the way the others do, " I tried to explain. "My foot doesn't work that way." I was so embarrassed.

Mr. Snivelly then proceeded to pull me over to another part of the field, still within seeing and hearing distance of the other kids, and make me raise up on my tiptoes and slowly lower down as an effort to improve my wayward posture. Slight problem though. My left leg is almost and inch shorter than my right so I stand crooked no matter what. Also I can't stand on tiptoes with my left foot.

I was crying and trying to tell him why I couldn't do the things he was asking me to do. I did not want to be his special project! Mr. Snivelly kept saying "It's okay. You just tell those other kids that you're different and that's just fine. I'm just trying to help you look better out in the line." He absolutely didn't get it that he was the one singling me out, not my classmates. Bottom line: I couldn't conform to their precious, award winning marching band and I had to be fixed.

The next year, I opted not to attend Band Camp (can you blame me?). I knew that as now a sophomore, marching would be much more grueling as our school participated in competitive marching starting with sophomores. After being nearly unable to walk after some ridiculous practices that lasted until 10:00 on a school night the year before, I didn't want to go through it again, magnified many times. But I still wanted to be able to play my flute! So I got permission from Mrs. Hitler our band teacher (name has been changed) to practice the songs in the band room while everyone else was practicing marching out on the field.

I was bored to tears. I learned my songs quickly and soon found I had nothing to do. The only happiness I found from being made to sit in the band room day after day was a boy named Chase. He couldn't march either because he had a broken leg from playing football. He and I became great friends and still keep in touch to this day. Chase understood how lonely and boring that stupid band room was and we kept each other entertained.

Somewhere along the line Mrs. Hitler decided that I needed to be able to participate in the shows. I offered to sit along the sidelines and play my flute from there but that just wouldn't do in her land of perfection. No. If I was going to participate in her band to the best of my ability then I had to learn another instrument that was supposed to be on the sidelines. The xylophone.

I was willing to try although it didn't really feel right. I knew though that if I obeyed her wishes then come next semester I'd be able to play my flute again during concert band. I began attending practices and watching the xylophone players. Slight problem though. They'd all been playing since the 6th grade and I was brand new. There was no way I could learn fast enough to be of any use. Mrs. Hitler had the perfect solution. She suggested I give up my Sewing class once a week and attend the percussion class to learn more quickly.

At first I agreed until the ridiculousness of the solution set in. Now why would I give up my sewing class (a very useful skill) to learn how to play an instrument I had no interest in, just so I could remain in band?? After much praying and pondering, I knew what I had to do. I had to give up band even if it meant giving up my dream of qualifying for a flute scholarship to college.

It was with much terrifiedness (no lie!) that I warily made my way into Mrs. Hitler's office with a  "drop class" slip in my hand. I locked eyes with Chase for a moment before I went in. I knew that he knew what I was about to do and was totally sympathetic. I'll never forget that moment. The band room was noisy as students were warming up their instruments in preparation for the day's class. With tears streaming down my face I hesitantly held out the slip and said, "I've decided to drop this class." Mrs. Hitler sighed a huge, exasperated sounding sigh and snatched the paper from my hand, hastily singed it, and shoved it back at me, without ever looking at me. And that was that. I failed her conformity test and she wanted nothing more to do with me.

Luckily, that's not the end of my story. Try as they might, Hitler and Snivelly couldn't kill my desire to play my flute. Although they tried to tell me that being different meant I would never achieve my full potential, I proved them wrong. Although I didn't go on to be a world-renowned flutist, I kept on playing. I played in church, in my home, and for my family...

And I still do.

Look Your Best, Feel Your Best

Here's me, freshly showered, makeup on, and ready for my day!

I promised myself a long time ago that when I became a mother I would not "let myself go" so to speak. I've seen it happen too many times before. Mothers these days seem to think they are wearing some sort of badge of honor if after they have kids, they get to walk around all the time looking like crap! Well I'm here to tell you that this happy homemaker never looks like crap, at least not for very long. :)

Long ago I made a commitment to myself that even if I wasn't able to get anything else done during the day, I would still shower, get dressed, and put on makeup, no matter what! Why? Because it makes me feel happy to know that I took some time for myself. I am not the type of person that can go shopping in pajama pants. I saw a woman like that once. Her child was dressed with combed hair and she was wearing her pajamas, hair uncombed, and her ensemble was completed by a pair of grubby-looking slippers. I'm sorry, but if the image you want to portray to the world is, "I'm a mom and my kids come first, therefore I've stopped caring about myself." then by all means, you keep on shopping in your p.j.s!

However, if you want others to say, "That woman cares enough about her kids to recognize that if she doesn't value herself to allow some 'me time' then she'll be a more stressed out mommy." That's the way I see it and I make time in my day to look my best.

A good friend of mine once asked her husband to prioritize what he wanted to see when he walked in the door after a long work day. She gave him these four things to choose from: A "hot" wife (meaning she had taken the time to shower, fix her hair, and apply makeup), a clean house, happy kids (meaning they were being quiet and occupying themselves), and dinner on the table. She told him to choose which one meant the most to him and then she would try her best to accommodate him. What he said surprised her. He said first and foremost he wanted to have a wife who looked "hot".

I asked my husband the same thing thinking he would choose seeing dinner hot and ready for him on the table. I was just as shocked when he prioritized that last and put me first. So not only does it make me happy to look my best but it makes my man happy too. It's a win/win situation! :)

So how do I accomplish looking my best everyday? I guarantee you my life is just as busy as yours. I have four young children, three who are still at home with me during the day, and one who is a nursing baby. Yes, I am busy! It's really quite simple though. It's important to me and so I make it a priority. I don't start the day off cleaning the house. I've tried that before and while I was able to get the house clean, I found I was never able to get those extra minutes back to take care of myself. Usually I get myself ready during the baby's morning nap or if I have to take my daughter to preschool I shower the night before so I have one less thing to accomplish in the morning.

When I look my best I feel my best which makes me a happier person in general. However, if you don't care how you look then just disregard this whole post and keep on shopping in your pajamas. You just won't see me joining you!

Queen of the Castle

You've heard the phrase "king of the castle" right? If you're a 1950's housewife then that phrase should definitely ring true. However, in this day and age things have changed dramatically. While the husband is still head of the family I no longer think he has "Lord of the Manor" bragging rights. How often does a working father really spend at home anyway? What gives him the right to have a say in how the household is run, organizationally speaking? None I say. This is why I am declaring myself "Queen of the Castle."

You should declare yourself that too if you're a homemaker like me. True my husband's job made it possible for me to have the house I live in, but without me it would still be a house. I am the one who makes my house a home.

Seriously, I don't barge into my husband's place of work and start telling him what to do, where to file his work, how he should talk to his boss, etc. That would drive him crazy! It's just the same for me. If ever Nathan tries to usurp some of my power, I calmly but sweetly remind him that the household is my job and therefore I ultimately decide how it is run. If he puts up a fuss about something then I just wait until he's off to work (and do it anyway).

Now don't get me wrong, Nathan and I still share responsibilities. He does the dishes every night, for example. He also puts the kids to bed and gives them their baths. We pay the bills together, we raise our children together. We are a team but when it comes to our occupations, he is a computer guy and I am a homemaker and we don't step on each other's toes.

So now that we're clear on who's really in charge, let's have some fun, shall we? After all, who says it has to be all work all the time? A household is more than a full-time job to run with kids and all in the mix but there's still some ways to make it your own. Set up organization methods that make sense to you. The rules for the household are also in your domain. If you don't want the kids to play in certain rooms then make it be so. If you want them to clear their dishes and put away their shoes then declare it for all to hear!

And of course we can't forget decorating! If the household belongs to you then you might as well like how it looks, right? You should, I suppose, be somewhat sensitive to what your husband's dislikes are. If he hates pink and ruffles adamantly then don't go overboard in that department but don't let him do the decorating either! If my husband were in charge of what went on the walls we'd have Nintendo posters and GI Joe paraphernalia galore. No thank you! Instead I let him think he gets a say by letting him put up some posters in our loft and the kids' playroom, places where no one else sees.

Respect your role as Queen of the Castle and your family will as well. Don't let anyone else try to tell you you're not in charge or I guarantee chaos will ensue. Keep control over the home beneath your reign or it will control you. You're a gentle but firm queen... remember that.