How to be a Good Housewife

My husband brought home this funny list from work several years ago about how women were supposed to treat their husbands in the 1950's. It was meant to be used as a guide for being the perfect wife and homemaker. Recently I found it and thought it was worth sharing.

How to be a Good Housewife

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready-- on time.This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a warm meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take fifteen minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair so you will be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little more gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order. It will give you a lift too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, and vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

5. Be happy to see him.

6. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

7.  Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

8. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
 Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant voice.

9. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to relax.

10. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

11. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

12. Don't complain if he's home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

13. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

14. A good wife always knows her place.

There is speculation to whether this is a real list taken from Housekeeping Monthly as the article claims it is. Real or not it's pretty funny yet I am here to testify that there is a lot of truth to it too. My grandma is a bonafide 50's housewife and almost every item mentioned on the list I have witnessed in her own household. Even though my grandparents have a very traditional 50's household they are one hundred percent committed to each other and love each other deeply. So even though that way of life seems so backwards to us now maybe there was something that was working... ie putting your spouse's needs before your own. Just not to the extreme as this article suggests though!

Good and bad but definitely times have changed!

Queen of the Castle

You've heard the phrase "king of the castle" right? If you're a 1950's housewife then that phrase should definitely ring true. However, in this day and age things have changed dramatically. While the husband is still head of the family I no longer think he has "Lord of the Manor" bragging rights. How often does a working father really spend at home anyway? What gives him the right to have a say in how the household is run, organizationally speaking? None I say. This is why I am declaring myself "Queen of the Castle."

You should declare yourself that too if you're a homemaker like me. True my husband's job made it possible for me to have the house I live in, but without me it would still be a house. I am the one who makes my house a home.

Seriously, I don't barge into my husband's place of work and start telling him what to do, where to file his work, how he should talk to his boss, etc. That would drive him crazy! It's just the same for me. If ever Nathan tries to usurp some of my power, I calmly but sweetly remind him that the household is my job and therefore I ultimately decide how it is run. If he puts up a fuss about something then I just wait until he's off to work (and do it anyway).

Now don't get me wrong, Nathan and I still share responsibilities. He does the dishes every night, for example. He also puts the kids to bed and gives them their baths. We pay the bills together, we raise our children together. We are a team but when it comes to our occupations, he is a computer guy and I am a homemaker and we don't step on each other's toes.

So now that we're clear on who's really in charge, let's have some fun, shall we? After all, who says it has to be all work all the time? A household is more than a full-time job to run with kids and all in the mix but there's still some ways to make it your own. Set up organization methods that make sense to you. The rules for the household are also in your domain. If you don't want the kids to play in certain rooms then make it be so. If you want them to clear their dishes and put away their shoes then declare it for all to hear!

And of course we can't forget decorating! If the household belongs to you then you might as well like how it looks, right? You should, I suppose, be somewhat sensitive to what your husband's dislikes are. If he hates pink and ruffles adamantly then don't go overboard in that department but don't let him do the decorating either! If my husband were in charge of what went on the walls we'd have Nintendo posters and GI Joe paraphernalia galore. No thank you! Instead I let him think he gets a say by letting him put up some posters in our loft and the kids' playroom, places where no one else sees.

Respect your role as Queen of the Castle and your family will as well. Don't let anyone else try to tell you you're not in charge or I guarantee chaos will ensue. Keep control over the home beneath your reign or it will control you. You're a gentle but firm queen... remember that.