Why I Chose Homemaking and to be a Stay-at-Home Mom

 Homemaking is a real profession. It is one that I take very seriously! If it could be put into a job description I imagine it would be something like this:

1. 1. You will accomplish something worthwhile that can affect the happiness of those around you.
2. 2. You will help choose the working conditions and establish a pleasant atmosphere for others.
3. 3. You will help control expenditures.
4. 4. You will decide what work will be done, when it will be done, and how it will be done.
5. 5. You will enjoy being around everyone in the entire organization and will have the opportunity to bless their lives and help them accomplish great things.

When put that way it sounds like the perfect job, right? To me it is just that. I love what I do. :)

I realize that everyone's journey is their own. What works for some may not work for others. This article is based upon my own experiences and opinions. It is not meant to tell anyone else how to live their lives, rather it is to show how I find joy in homemaking and why I feel it is so important.

I remember having a conversation a few years back with a friend whose last child had just started kindergarten. She told me, "Now that all my kids are in school I have nothing to do. The house is clean and I'm just so bored. I'm going to have to go get a job!"

The conversation has stuck with me all these years. I found it interesting that this friend thought that her homemaking career was over simply because her children were not home for part of the day. Homemaking is more than just being home when the kids are little. It is so much more!

Society has been trying to teach us for the last 50 years or so that women are not contributing to society unless they work outside the home. Women have been told that we have to "have it all". Not only do we need to be the perfect mother but the breadwinner and always have dinner on the table at five while maintaining a germ-free home where nothing is ever out of place. I conducted a sociological poll on facebook and one mom told me that she works, "...because I'm not just a mother. As a woman I have equal rights and desires to fulfill my goals and my career. It's a good example for our kids and especially our daughters." While this friend is entitled to her own opinions and believes she is teaching her children to be more well-rounded, I believe that I too am teaching my children by staying home.

As I said before, I am not you. You are not me. If you have to work outside the home, or if you want to work outside the home, so be it. Only you can decide what's best for you. I'm just here to defend what I feel is a dying profession. This makes me sad because homemaking is the single most important profession there is!

President Ezra Taft Benson (a former prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) once said, "One great thing the Lord requires of each of us is to provide a home where a happy positive influence for good exists." It is my responsibility to make sure our home is a happy home. I feel I can do this best if I make homemaking my primary profession.

I believe that all women are homemakers whether they work or not, are married or not, or have children or not. It is part of our divine nature as women to nurture those around us. How well we fill this role depends entirely on our commitment to it and how well we juggle the other responsibilities we place on ourselves.

I grew up in a household with a mom who worked outside the home. I never understood why she wanted to work. She would always tell us she worked so we could have the little extra things we were used to getting. I would've traded all those little things though for a more relaxed, peaceful home life. It wasn't until I grew up that my mom revealed to me that she just didn't enjoy being home. She needed the social interaction that came with working. Mom loved her various jobs. She loved learning new skills and serving those in our community. My mom was a great mom. She always managed to make it to all our various school functions despite working. She helped me with my school work and I always knew I was loved. She fulfilled her church responsibilities to the best of her ability and was a friend to all. She tried her hardest to be everything to everyone!

Us kids were left at home to fend for ourselves from the time we were in elementary school all the way until we left the nest. Although it taught us to be independent and responsible it was often chaotic and unhappy for us too. We fought a lot and there was no one to play the role of peacemaker. The house was messy and very cluttered, simply because my mom didn't have time to maintain it (and because 70's houses have zero storage and tiny rooms). ;) I didn't like coming home to an empty house. It was lonely. I couldn't just call my mom and tell her about my day. I'd have to wait until she came home. 

My mom only worked part time but on the days she did work she'd often come home exhausted and a little cranky.  On the days she didn't work she was constantly trying to play catch up; Feverishly cleaning the house and trying to fulfill all the other roles she had to play. Although my mom liked working I think sometimes she lacked balance in her life. It stressed her out sometimes which in turn stressed out the home. 

My favorite memory of my mom was one crisp fall afternoon when I was about 10 years old. I came home from school to the front door wide open, the screen door filtering in the pleasant autumn breeze. Inside, the house smelled of apples and cinnamon. I can still see my mom standing there in the kitchen as I turned the corner, spooning applesauce into jars. She was wearing her favorite red plaid shirt and a warm smile. The house was clean and felt cozy and happy. I just stood there soaking it all in. How I wanted my mom to be home everyday when I came home!

That moment right there is what I knew I wanted when I became a mom. I wanted more than anything to be that "happy homemaker". The kind that was always home when her kids walked through the door. The kind that kept the house clean and orderly and always had cookies in the cookie jar. The kind that was content just being a mom and taking care of a home.

My mom was and is a great mom and honestly I don't feel like we are victims because of her working. It was all we knew. She doesn't regret her decision to work outside the home. She's told me as much. She did the best she knew how to do. She is always the first one I call when I have news, good or bad. She is not only my mom but my friend too. I don't know what I'd do without her. I don't fault her for not wanting to be home. She was doing what she felt she needed to do to have fulfillment in her life.

For me, however, I love being a homemaker. I don't want or need anything more in my life. I find being a stay-at-home mom completely satisfying. It's challenging and I thrive on running a household. Honestly, there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I need to get done in my chosen profession. Thankfully, the only deadlines I have are the ones I set for myself and I'm a pretty flexible boss. ;)

In the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord tells the Latter-Day Saints how he wants his temple to be. This same doctrine can be applied to our homes: He says, "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning; a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." D&C 88:119

This is scripture is my mantra. Sure I could go get a job. Sure I could finish my education. But I know I wouldn't be able to have the home I work so hard to have if I did those things. I don't do well under high amounts of stress and having to juggle those extra things would sure be stressful. I want to eventually continue my education but it won't be to get a job once my kids are out of the house. It will be to accomplish a goal, to fall back on if I need it, and to learn more about something I've always wanted to. I don't ever intend to work if I don't have to. I want to always make my home be my job. I want to be able to drop everything and help my kids with their own families. I don't ever want them to feel like they've taken a back seat to a career or other pursuits. 

"There's a time and a season for all things" so the saying goes and right now my time is to be home with my babies, creating the happiest home for them possible. Even when they are all in school I will still be home. I won't stop being a mom just because my kids are gone. The house won't go to school. I know I will have plenty to do. :)

I am not perfect at my chosen profession. I'm a blogger who writes about homemaking but that doesn't make me perfect. No one is perfect! My house is never perfectly clean. I have frustrations and things I want to improve on. The point is I am happy. I am happy doing what I do. Said the prophet Spencer W. Kimball, "Heaven is a place, but also a condition; it is home and family... It is quiet sane living; personal sacrifice, genuine hospitality, wholesome concern for others. It is living the commandments of God."

A home is more than mortar, brick, mud, wood, or thatch. It is a place where something of heaven is built into its foundation.

And that is why I chose homemaking and to be a stay-at-home mom. I want to be able to devote all my energy, all my soul into making my home-- our home-- a little piece of heaven. It's a work in progress for sure but it is one to which I am wholly committed to.

I wouldn't have it any other way. :)