Queen of the Castle

You've heard the phrase "king of the castle" right? If you're a 1950's housewife then that phrase should definitely ring true. However, in this day and age things have changed dramatically. While the husband is still head of the family I no longer think he has "Lord of the Manor" bragging rights. How often does a working father really spend at home anyway? What gives him the right to have a say in how the household is run, organizationally speaking? None I say. This is why I am declaring myself "Queen of the Castle."

You should declare yourself that too if you're a homemaker like me. True my husband's job made it possible for me to have the house I live in, but without me it would still be a house. I am the one who makes my house a home.

Seriously, I don't barge into my husband's place of work and start telling him what to do, where to file his work, how he should talk to his boss, etc. That would drive him crazy! It's just the same for me. If ever Nathan tries to usurp some of my power, I calmly but sweetly remind him that the household is my job and therefore I ultimately decide how it is run. If he puts up a fuss about something then I just wait until he's off to work (and do it anyway).

Now don't get me wrong, Nathan and I still share responsibilities. He does the dishes every night, for example. He also puts the kids to bed and gives them their baths. We pay the bills together, we raise our children together. We are a team but when it comes to our occupations, he is a computer guy and I am a homemaker and we don't step on each other's toes.

So now that we're clear on who's really in charge, let's have some fun, shall we? After all, who says it has to be all work all the time? A household is more than a full-time job to run with kids and all in the mix but there's still some ways to make it your own. Set up organization methods that make sense to you. The rules for the household are also in your domain. If you don't want the kids to play in certain rooms then make it be so. If you want them to clear their dishes and put away their shoes then declare it for all to hear!

And of course we can't forget decorating! If the household belongs to you then you might as well like how it looks, right? You should, I suppose, be somewhat sensitive to what your husband's dislikes are. If he hates pink and ruffles adamantly then don't go overboard in that department but don't let him do the decorating either! If my husband were in charge of what went on the walls we'd have Nintendo posters and GI Joe paraphernalia galore. No thank you! Instead I let him think he gets a say by letting him put up some posters in our loft and the kids' playroom, places where no one else sees.

Respect your role as Queen of the Castle and your family will as well. Don't let anyone else try to tell you you're not in charge or I guarantee chaos will ensue. Keep control over the home beneath your reign or it will control you. You're a gentle but firm queen... remember that.